“The fear of rejection is one of our deepest human fears. Biologically wired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen in a critical way. We’re anxious about the prospect of being cut off, demeaned, or isolated. A big part of our fear of rejection may be our fear of experiencing hurt and pain. Our dislike to unpleasant experiences prompts behaviors that don’t serve us. We withdraw from people rather than risk reaching out. We hold back from expressing our authentic feelings. We abandon others before they have a chance to reject us!” - www.psychologytoday.com
I started typing something about rejection about two months ago, saved it, and left it. When I opened it again about a week ago, I realized that the Lord wanted to share a totally different message to what I initially started off with. It took me another couple of days to try and figure out what the message was. This morning a dear friend of mine made a joke about being a people pleaser. And while I was typing and changing paragraphs and rephrasing sentences, I remembered how I still wanted to share something about depression with her. And this is when I realized that I was so afraid of hurting someone or missing the point if I try to share something about rejection, that I kept ignoring the message!
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” – 1 Peter 5:8, 9(a)
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” – 1 Peter 5:8, 9(a)
Our minds are wired to keep us happy, right? And we would do (almost) anything to make sure we are happy, right? We have all developed systems in our brains to ensure this state of happiness. Some people feel loved and accepted by bringing cheerful smiles to others faces, and other people have experienced so much hatred and pain in their lives that they prefer to build a wall and shut the world out. Doesn’t matter towards which one you lean, we all have the same goal – to avoid rejection! Yes, we all have the same fear of rejection. Because rejection takes away your ‘happy place’. Think about it, you can be in a chirpy mood the one moment, until something happens and it makes you feel rejected, then all of a sudden your sunny day turns into a stormy sunset. But why is it so easy to swing the mood? |
Because unfortunately the enemy would do anything in his power to destroy you! And to make things worse he doesn’t come with a flashing red light to warn you that he is about to steal something very precious from you. No, he just shows up and takes away your joy!
I don’t wish to blame depression in totality on past rejection (because I know there are several reasons), but I do want to make the statement that there is a definite link between the two. And as parents, we sometimes play the biggest role in rejection, because we push our children away without realizing what we are doing. The mildest form of rejection will probably be when we unnecessarily say ‘go and play, I’m busy now’; to more serious rejection where a mother will yell at a child ‘it is all your fault that my life is a disaster’ because she is actually upset with the guy that left her (rejection!) when he found out she was pregnant. And then of course the most extreme form of rejection will undoubtedly be if a parent decides to chase a child away because of something he/she did (like falling pregnant, using drugs, etc.). I can probably write a book about this, but the point I want to make is that we use our words extremely thoughtless at times. And we become contributors to the constant emotion of sadness, which becomes a disease called depression, if we apply rejection for too long in someone’s life. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” - James4:7
I don’t wish to blame depression in totality on past rejection (because I know there are several reasons), but I do want to make the statement that there is a definite link between the two. And as parents, we sometimes play the biggest role in rejection, because we push our children away without realizing what we are doing. The mildest form of rejection will probably be when we unnecessarily say ‘go and play, I’m busy now’; to more serious rejection where a mother will yell at a child ‘it is all your fault that my life is a disaster’ because she is actually upset with the guy that left her (rejection!) when he found out she was pregnant. And then of course the most extreme form of rejection will undoubtedly be if a parent decides to chase a child away because of something he/she did (like falling pregnant, using drugs, etc.). I can probably write a book about this, but the point I want to make is that we use our words extremely thoughtless at times. And we become contributors to the constant emotion of sadness, which becomes a disease called depression, if we apply rejection for too long in someone’s life. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” - James4:7
“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the burdens of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.” - Psalm 34:17-20 The good news today is, that it doesn’t matter if you are the one trying to deal with long term rejection that turned into depression, or maybe a parent who made the mistake of applying rejection in your child’s life. God is good, and He wants to be there for you. He wants to turn your story of rejection into a story of great victory. Yes, He wants you to triumph over the schemes of the devil, and He wants to restore joy in your life today! |
Don’t believe the lie that the enemy is telling you, you are entitled to be accepted and loved for who you are, not for what someone else believes you are supposed to be. The Lord hears your cry, and He wants to release you from all your troubles. He is near to you if you are broken hearted, and He wants to save your crushed spirit. All you need to do, is surrender it all to Him in prayer!
Dear Lord, hear my cries as I pour out my heart to You. Please release me of these feelings of unworthiness, these feelings of hatred, and these feelings of rejection. Repair my broken spirit, and heal every part of me as I surrender it all to You in prayer. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Be blessed
Yolandi
Dear Lord, hear my cries as I pour out my heart to You. Please release me of these feelings of unworthiness, these feelings of hatred, and these feelings of rejection. Repair my broken spirit, and heal every part of me as I surrender it all to You in prayer. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Be blessed
Yolandi