If a man truly loves his wife, she becomes his greatest weakness. And if a woman truly loves her husband, he becomes her greatest strength. ~Unknown
This is a beautiful quote, if applied in a happy marriage. Right? But what if the focus in a marriage is wrong? What if the focus is not love, but only on negative aspects? And what if all the negatives expand? Let’s get practical, and look at this example: It is two days before month end, you know you can’t pay your bills, and all your husband says is ‘do what you think is best, I trust your decisions.’ You are extremely frustrated with the situation, and the only decision you want to make is the one where you end this pathetic marriage. Yet, for some bizarre reason you can see that your husband doesn’t feel like this (and that upsets you even more!). Out of frustration you start yelling at him that you wish he would grow a backbone. But he is refusing to take part in the conversation, and even look ashamed. And that makes you even more annoyed with the situation, because what is wrong with him?! (I know, maybe this is a bit of an extreme example!)
Pastor Greg Mohr says that a man’s greatest fear is shame. Shame for disappointing his wife, embarrassment that his ego will be bruised if he makes the wrong decisions, fear of shame that his children will not respect him because of bad decision making, and the list goes on. And because of this fear of shame, it becomes easier for husbands to trust their wives with the day to day decision making. If I incorporate this with the Proverbs 31 wife, a light goes on for me! If we act as virtuous women, and our husbands’ can truly trust us and focus their focus on our capabilities, then we will become stronger and more ‘gifted’ to eventually run our households blind folded.
“Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another. Do your best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives by means of the peace that binds you together.” ~Ephesians 4:2-3
Unfortunately the opposite is also true. If you fall victim to the deceitful lie the enemy tells you (the one that your husband can’t make decisions, and you therefor see him as ‘weak’), you will not be able to act humble, patient or gentle. And unfortunately that means that you will not show tolerance towards your spouse, and the end result will be a messy marriage without unity! Unity does not mean that you need to compromise yourself to keep your partner happy, it actually means that you need to treat each other with respect and love in a gentle and tolerable way (despite shortcomings).
“A good wife is her husband’s pride and joy; but a wife who brings shame on her husband is like a cancer in his bones.” ~Proverbs 12:4
You can make the decision today to either bless your marriage / relationship by becoming a Proverbs 31 kind of partner, or you can choose to believe the lies of the devil.
May every marriage and relationship experience God’s blessing and unity. And may every women be blessed with wisdom to be able to resist the lies of the enemy, and to rather support her partner to become the best he can be! Choose to focus your focus on love! And let love multiply, not lies.